Vaginismus Awareness Post- Our Story-

This post is about awareness of a condition that I suffer and continue to suffer from. Vaginismus is a condition that impacts 30% of women and possibly higher. Many women suffer in silence and with no answers. I am sharing my story for several reasons: to educate, to let a family or friend know they are not alone, and to request assistance in adding this condition to what is being taught to our kids so that they won't have mine or many others experience.

I have Primary Vaginismus which means there was never a time that I had no issues with this condition. There are many causes and some are unknown. For me my history plays a role in why I suffer.

At 13, I would learn that I was different. That time of the month for many teen girls can be a confusing time. There is a mixed excitement and nerves because it means many things until they experience having one. Imagine learning that something used by everyone such as a tampon would be something that would cause you to pass out because of the pain and be unable to insert. That was me. Not one of the classiest moments in my life. The pain was so horrible that I would make excuses as to why I couldn't swim or go swimming. Such as the 9th grade day to the swimming pool. I had my swimsuit in the locker. When I realized my time of the month came, I lied and said I forgot my bathing suit. These moments brought embarrassment and shame.

Then when I went for my first Pap smear at 21, the obgyn, stated they couldn't do the examination and come back when you have gotten help. No name and no real explanation. I followed up with another obgyn whom did manage but not without a lot and lot of pain. There again no explanation.

I hardly talked to anyone at all about this. What do you say? What if I'm the only one with this problem? But still Pap smears you can somewhat avoid them. You don't have to go swimming. Nothing life threatening and can manage. Right?

In May of 2005, on a honeymoon I would learn that not only do I have issues with tampons and Pap smears but I would also have trouble with intercourse. This was devastating. At the time I wondered how long he would stay with me and who would ever want to marry a person whom couldn't physically have sex. I can't have sex and can't have a kid. Luckily I always wanted to adopt even before knowing because that might be my only avenue.

I would embarrassingly Google "how to have sex." I figured I must be doing something wrong. Which only hurt myself emotionally. I had been seeing a counselor about my past and had mentioned this issue. They laughed at me. I had opened up to my mother whom looked through medical books. Later she came to me with a book and a page marked for me to read. As I read I hit pretty much all the symptoms and knew that it was an actual condition with a name and that it was treatable.

We tried the dilators. It wasn't until I found a group on Yahoo that would set my course to finding a treatment that works for me. Four years after being married, I finally had success. I had my son and regressed. I would later learn that breastfeeding probably contributed to the issues. It's hard to say. I did manage to have success four years later again and got pregnant. I'm back where I was but haven't given up hope.

It impacts how women look at themselves. Women with the condition often worry that they are harming their husbands by staying with them and that they will never share that connection. It impacts how they socialize with friends. Many don't think that a child is possible. I know I did and my Physical therapist was shocked as well as I when it happened both times. Some women have to get pregnant with methods at home that are non traditional. Please share and please write to your senator asking them to add Vaginismus to the curriculum. Help a teen girl out there whom may have the condition and not know about it. Help them to find the treatment and emotional support. If anyone has it or wonders pm. Some people that have it can have paps and wear tampons but only have issues in the bedroom. You might have Secondary which means that you had pain free sex and then something happens and you begin to have issues. If so contact me. There are groups that can help. You no longer need to suffer alone. Typing from phone and while taking care of my daughter so it may not be perfect with grammar or spelling. Will check later.‪#‎vaginismusawareness‬ ‪#‎painfulsex‬

Hoping to not lose friends over this but tired of suffering in silence and hoping to help others.

www.vaginismus.com
Facebook search Vaginismus Support or even Vaginismus: entrance group.
Both groups have a screening process.

This was difficult to post. Being an admin to several groups that help over 600 women and learning their stories. There are women that suffer with no name and no knowledge that there is a treatment until 45 or older. Sadly not all obgyn's are well versed on the condition and don't always identify.  The reason so many suffer in silence is because people are ashamed of something that they didn't do anything to cause.  I'm sharing and bringing light to help other women.